hiya lil dudes,
its been a long time.long time since i had the time to sit down and blog.well who cares anyway.nobody reads.oh well.that's not the point of this blog existing anyway.just to pen down my thoughts.

1 week ago,my grandfather passed away.sigh.never did expect that to happen.well,not soon though.such a loss.since then my mind became disarrayed.oh well.i will soon calm down.funny though,before my late grandmother died 2 years ago,i used to talk about my ambition.a pilot.she used to say,'study hard,achieve your dreams...' well......uhm....ok....

so last few weeks was hectic.didn't had time for anybody.always keeping in sync with time to rush off projects,revision;though i didn't do that much for revision,i sure hope to pass to year 2.
JMP 2 was ok.FCSOS was simple enough.FNDB was a Mother Of All Bombs(MOAB).Computing Mathematics 1 is yet to be determined this Monday,28th March 2005,0930 hrs.

Nobody reads this crap anyway.Damn my last template is in my laptop.Links and all.Urgh.
So for now,maybe i'm just going to put down my name and tagboard if possible.goddamn i hate changing templates.well,i guess i'll sign in back later.

*EvEn My LonELiNeSs TuRnS tO StReNgTh WhEn I tHiNk Of YoU.*
*samishisa mo tsuyosa eto kawatteku kimi wo omottanara*

dIsMiSsEd SoLdIeR!!!

goddammit...its midnight...i shall update later.got a long,long,long entry to write.

hiya lil dudes,
today,nothing much happened.really.i was late for fcsos lecture.ok so what right?then met up with the rest and went to eat at business school.went library for a while and talk rubbish.hahahahhaaaaaaaa....really funny it was.

then at about 12pm went for a mini birthday celebration.ahakz.funny ah.......then about 1pm i went home.suppose go watch movie with syaf but cancelled.so ok.i really got nothing to do at home.bore myself.watched Futakoi and Bleach anime.really interesting.so yar,got myself something to do by watching cartoons on nickelodeon,disney channel and cartoon network.what are they teaching these kids nowadays i wonder........its got no logic whatsoever...darn...

ok so like,whatever.....in msn the whole day.no one to talk to.where are my friends when i need them ay?oh wait.i have no friends.pretty much normal.what's the world coming to.

should i sacrifice a scholarship for the girl of my dreams?yes?no?you know what i think?
it doesn't matter what i think.it all comes down to 1 thing.its whether i have what it takes to achieve what i want.what makes me different from the rest?that...i would like to know.......

its distracting me.....my mind is in disarray....seems like these past few weeks my mind seems to be soooo....distant....my smiles hide something....something that i shall not tell anyone....some things are better kept as secrets....secrets no one will ever know..knowledge,skill,information...
sworn to secrecy.i talked a bit to izyan just now.maybe she doesnt know how i feel.people don't understand me.i think.always alone.always.

maybe i should just study hard.get that scholarship,go overseas and leave all my troubles behind.wouldn't that be running away?

oh how vulnerable my feelings are.they always are.its only i don't show them and i protect them well.maybe my troubles will go away tomorrow.

hope doesn't bring happiness.it brings you the opportunity to bring happiness. -Muhammad Ruzaini- 8th March 2005

i wonder what i will become in the future.a fighter pilot.an army officer.a computer scientist.systems engineer.research engineer.scientist.doctor

maybe i should just............shut up.