it rained. and it was so romantic.
one soft side of me. it never fails to make me calm. my definition of a romantic escapade; light rain, light wind, a small straw hut with sitting for 2 facing the seaside at an elevation with plains surrounding behind. well, anyway, i'm just so glad that it rained since like such a long time. surreal i'm sure.
anyway, what i'm trying to point out is that, i strongly believe family is very important. we succeed together, we suffer together. whatever the situation, family is given top priority. be it relationship, work, school, friends. nothing else matters. family is top of the chain. without your family, you are nothing. without you, your family is nothing. it forms the basis of all of your achievements and failures. as for me, i love my family alot. and i will protect them. at all costs. at all costs.
its just that i rarely show affection. i may be cold at times. but it is not my intention to hate. i don't despise. people are not despicable. they are never despicable. different people behave in different ways. different things are met with different feelings by different people. be it whether it is instilled by their upbringing, bitter experience, etc. but from the way i live, in different perspective, i will try to inculcate good moral principles to add more value to the experience. for example, i cannot be 18 years old twice in my lifetime. for me, honour is everything. it is not something that you can have in 5 minutes. well, let me share something. something that i don't even tell my closest of friends.
when i meet a new aquaintance, i'll usually be very quiet. (most people do. truthfully)
i will just observe. the person's hair, face expression when shaking hands, eye movements, skin complexion, apparels, footwear, accessories if any, way of walking, way of talking, way of sitting down, way of smiling, hand movements, way of standing. after an initial analysis and by the way i'm not even half done, then, i will talk. such coffee talk are so cheap nowadays.
'Hi, how are you?', 'Good?', 'It's hot/cold today.', 'What's your name again?', 'Now school holidays already, shiok ah.', 'How's school?', 'Your exams how?, can do?', 'The Mr Brown podcast funny sia, you know Mr Brown?'.
of course i don't base my judgement on appearance alone. so as you can see, i have many friends, lots of friends. but not many good, close friends. but nevertheless, people change. and so do i, without a doubt. very close friends? 3. i shall not mention names. but they should know who they are. 2 of them i've known for almost 7 years and 1 for almost 9 years. they will and shall forever will be named as very close friends. these are the people i would entrust. and now i shall be forthcoming to all of you, i shall and only solely trust people i've known for at the very least 5 years. of course, i don't really count the 5 years. its that feeling i get when trusting people. i don't trust my guts. and that is the end of part 1 for making friends.
next, comes to making jokes. please take note that making jokes and doing irritating things are 2 totally distinct behaviours. its like picking straws game. likewise, i have 3 straws before you see a line. a very visibly visible bright red line. take a straw out, its funny. take another one, its not that funny, but what the heck right?. the last one drawn is the one that you wouldn't want to take more out. it will become so cold that its not funny anymore. and that will really tick me off. and therefore, i couldn't be bothered to talk. and i hate it when some people tend to act all braggy just because they have done something mighty. yes, bragging once is good. bragging after that becomes a nuisance. my mood will just swing. the way i talk will be so cold that if it could be physically iterated, it will freeze the breath i exhale. i'm not angry, i don't like to be angry. i just can't be bothered. i will keep very quiet and i will smile a very fake smile. (some people are just dumb enough not to notice). even if i manage to speak with the despicable soul, my intonation of words, the choice of words will be so much different; behold the english-malay-japanese-chinese-arabic-french dictionary in my brain. really from my experience with people, some people are just dumb. they can't tell body language, verbal language or face expression. then they talk somewhere behind the scenes. good sia. these kind of people also have. no honour. you hate it so badly, you tell the person forthcomingly and honestly. people don't hate you for being honest. in fact, i like people who are honest. be it bluntly. or people may say i'm fat. yes, i'm fat but that doesn't change the fact that i'm not human or i don't have any feelings. that's why they have this saying; poor in hand, rich in heart. but most unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be all fine and dandy. and that is what i think makes the world go round.
i admit and shall hold my words, i may not be always kind, caring, concerned, generous. but i do know what's the difference between right and wrong. and that is a principle that i will instill in my children for as long as i live.
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